CA.ChaoticAuthority

Lies and Secrets

How many lies and secrets do I have to know about before I’m finally pushed to the edge? How much trust should I put into you before I have none left to give? Your texts will go unanswered. Your calls, unanswered. Your messages on Facebook, unanswered. And you’ll know for sure I’ve got them, especially on Facebook, when you see the time-stamp that says “Seen #:## PM/AM”. It will make you wonder what happened. It will make you wonder what’s wrong.

I tried to do it your way, and I was fine with that at first. And with all that’s been going on behind the scenes that I already knew about, I decided to turn the other cheek and just go with it. I gave you the benefit of the doubt. I tried to brush it aside, to be rational about it…all of it. But I can only do that much for so long.

I like you, I care about you, and you clearly knew that. I made it stupidly obvious to even the blind, deaf, and dumb how I feel about you. You knew exactly what I was feeling for you by the way I talk to you, the way I treat you, the way I touch you, and you just can’t seem to get any of that past this barrier of “time” that you “need”.

You told me you don’t deserve any of it, and maybe you’re right. But I want you to be deserving of it. I want you to take what I have to give. I want to save you, to be that knight in shining armor for you…and compared to everyone else that’s trying for you, I’m the only one doing it right and pulling the right stops, yet they get more than they deserve. You talk about not deserving something so good for you, yet other people who deserve what I do get it instead of me.

My feelings and caring for you are still here, it’s just that I’m keeping them at bay for the time being. Like I said, I did things your way…now it’s your turn to do them my way. And if you don’t know what I’m talking about, you need to put the extra effort to find it out from me. I’ve bent over backwards and I’ve danced the fine line long enough. It’s your turn. If there’s something that I deserve, at the most minimal aspect, it’s that: your effort.

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1. casizzla808 posted this